Now I consider myself a sh*t talker. Basically I live to talk sh*t. It's what I do. But like everything, you must always keep in mind that there is someone else around who's better at it than you are. Unless your name is LeBron James. But that's neither here nor there. Anyhow, this man here is my superior in this particular department.
So during one of my daily adventures on the www, I decided to go to Youtube and see what interesting things I can come upon, and trust me, I see some crazy sh*t.
Lo and behold, I found that a person I 'followed' (and I use that term lightly seeing I basically watched most of the videos in one day) had decided to make a comeback. And he came back strong.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present: Mr Chi-City. The stage is yours sir:
And it just gets better...
What can I say? I am a fan of sh*t talkers.
A personal favourite of mine:
And the verdict:
Chi-City MAYNE!!!!
Esco out.
Showing posts with label LOL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LOL. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
No Really...
What part of 'Slaps Only' didn't he understand? Friends like these are the ones you have to stab in the back once in a while so they can understand that they must not mess around with you. Just to keep things fair.
I mean wow. Slap Only dude. His girlfriend would have found out all his secrets. And the next 5 girlfriends after that also.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Esco out.
I mean wow. Slap Only dude. His girlfriend would have found out all his secrets. And the next 5 girlfriends after that also.
With friends like these, who needs enemies?
Esco out.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Swan Dive
Oops. I guess I did not return since the last time. Well actually I was back amongst the computer users, BUT then summer really started and I got sidetracked. As usual.
Anyhow, lots of things happened since the last time and even though I would love to be able to let you in on everything, that will just not be possible because not only do I not want to get into details, I most probably don't remember all of them. Sucks, yes, I know. I should do an update everytime something remotely exciting happens, but no. I tend to have a life sometimes, and it does not always involve me being on the internet, as unbelievable as that may sound.
One thing that I DO remember though, is Brother Franklin. Here is a man, who changed my outlook on life the moment he jiggled his way up to the offering bucket. He was genuinely, or comically if you prefer, excited to go and give his dollar to the Lord. All of which I have absolutely no problems with seeing as I also grew up in the church and sometimes (most of the time) unwillingly put the one or sometimes even five dollars in the offering bucket. Something I hated simply because the moment money touches my hand, I can already see myself spending it. And that was the only time I was not allowed to, and it sucked.
But anyhow, here is Brother Franklin who is a little too happy to give his money. Money that he'll most probably regret offering when it's time to send some to the folks back home. You can call him the anti-me. Thank me later.
The best part of the video? The swan dive. Notice he has absolutely NO regard for those around him who are simply walking to to put money in the offering bucket. By my count, he almost injures 3 people with his antics, including himself.
And apparently, it is not the first time that he has done this. Brother Franklin is a repeat offender.
Brother Franklin for the win!
Esco out.
Anyhow, lots of things happened since the last time and even though I would love to be able to let you in on everything, that will just not be possible because not only do I not want to get into details, I most probably don't remember all of them. Sucks, yes, I know. I should do an update everytime something remotely exciting happens, but no. I tend to have a life sometimes, and it does not always involve me being on the internet, as unbelievable as that may sound.
One thing that I DO remember though, is Brother Franklin. Here is a man, who changed my outlook on life the moment he jiggled his way up to the offering bucket. He was genuinely, or comically if you prefer, excited to go and give his dollar to the Lord. All of which I have absolutely no problems with seeing as I also grew up in the church and sometimes (most of the time) unwillingly put the one or sometimes even five dollars in the offering bucket. Something I hated simply because the moment money touches my hand, I can already see myself spending it. And that was the only time I was not allowed to, and it sucked.
But anyhow, here is Brother Franklin who is a little too happy to give his money. Money that he'll most probably regret offering when it's time to send some to the folks back home. You can call him the anti-me. Thank me later.
The best part of the video? The swan dive. Notice he has absolutely NO regard for those around him who are simply walking to to put money in the offering bucket. By my count, he almost injures 3 people with his antics, including himself.
And apparently, it is not the first time that he has done this. Brother Franklin is a repeat offender.
Brother Franklin for the win!
Esco out.
Monday, June 1, 2009
There Is A God
That was me today in the Footlocker at the mall not too far from where I live.
The month of June has started off perfectly for me. Here's to hoping it continues this way.
I was practically hopping up and down in one place while standing in line to make my purchase.
WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Esco, out.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
"Do not...
...Mess around with Africans."
There are certain rules in life that should be heeded no matter the situation, such as "Always wear a condom when you have sex with the girl who has AIDS". Well, ok, that was a terrible example since you shouldn't even be considering having sex with her. But, anyhow. It's a rule, and one you should not break lest you want to suffer the consequences.
Another very important, if not undervalued, rule is to not f*ck with Africans. Now, this post is not meant as racial or discriminatory. This is just me giving you a heads-up.
*Story time*
Last week was exams for me. (Yes, they went well, thanks for asking) And because I had to get back into the whole school and studying mentality, I decided not to play basketball for two whole weeks leading up to exams. Yeah, that's what you call dedication. Anyhow. Friday was the last day, and I decided to hit the court after I returned home from school.
So now, it's summer-type of weather here in Paris, and it's beautiful out. So instead of going to the gym where I played during the winter, I decided to hit the outdoor court in my neighbourhood. Met up with the guys and had a good time catching up. And then it was time to play ball.
Everything was going fine, until for some odd reason, the shortest guy on the other team decided he had a score to settle with the tallest guy on my team. First mistake, your team is losing, there is NO reason for you to be running your mouth as though you're the one kicking ass. Second mistake, you are 5'7" at the MOST (and I'm being generous) and the guy on my team is about 6'5". Third mistake, tall guy is African. Short guy is not. Little did he know, he'd already lost. But for the sake of the story, I'll continue.
So this short guy, who I'm guarding by the way, gets switched on the tall guy. And then decided that tall guy played him too roughly, and says something slick. I mean, we ARE on the street, you should expect a bit of roughness. Hell, I have a cut next to my eyebrow that I only noticed 3 hours later when I got home. But whatever.
Short guy is running his mouth and tall guy is getting annoyed, and I'm sensing danger. So now, game over, we won, short guy and his band of misfits lost and they are heading to the side. As all of this is happening, short guy is talking smack to tall guy, who's had enough.
He calmly walks over to short guy and says "Listen, I'm sick of your sh*t. Either shut the f*ck up or do something about my so-called 'rough' play. I don't talk, I act, so if you don't want problems, stop talking." End of threat. The way he said that sh*t put the fear of God in ME, and I was not involved. And he turns and starts to leave. I would not be telling this story if it ended here. And boy did it not end.
Short guys jumps up from where he's seated and gets all up in tall guy's face. OK, he 'tries' to get up in tall guy's face seeing that he's nearly an entire foot shorter. He's practically on his toes, for those of you trying to picture the scene. He starts yapping and waving his hands dangerously close to tall guy's face.
Uh oh.
BOOM!
Gyaddayum!! He got hit with the headbutt from the Heavens. One he, or any of us for that matter, never saw coming. He stumbled back, and looked up dazed at tall guy. His eyes got big, and it looked as if it was only then that it dawned upon him. Tall guy was a motherf*cking African.
Well, from that point on, he saw that tall guy was not f*cking around when he said that he acted and skipped all of the long talk. We all saw. Well, atleast I did. In the end it all ended well, since short guy left the court with his confidence and manhood shattered on the floor from the headbutt he got, and tall guy continued playing til' after I left the court. And since I haven't heard anything else, I guess that was the end of that story. Well in that case, it is also the end of mine.
Moral of the story? Read the title stupid.
There are certain rules in life that should be heeded no matter the situation, such as "Always wear a condom when you have sex with the girl who has AIDS". Well, ok, that was a terrible example since you shouldn't even be considering having sex with her. But, anyhow. It's a rule, and one you should not break lest you want to suffer the consequences.
Another very important, if not undervalued, rule is to not f*ck with Africans. Now, this post is not meant as racial or discriminatory. This is just me giving you a heads-up.
*Story time*
Last week was exams for me. (Yes, they went well, thanks for asking) And because I had to get back into the whole school and studying mentality, I decided not to play basketball for two whole weeks leading up to exams. Yeah, that's what you call dedication. Anyhow. Friday was the last day, and I decided to hit the court after I returned home from school.
So now, it's summer-type of weather here in Paris, and it's beautiful out. So instead of going to the gym where I played during the winter, I decided to hit the outdoor court in my neighbourhood. Met up with the guys and had a good time catching up. And then it was time to play ball.
Everything was going fine, until for some odd reason, the shortest guy on the other team decided he had a score to settle with the tallest guy on my team. First mistake, your team is losing, there is NO reason for you to be running your mouth as though you're the one kicking ass. Second mistake, you are 5'7" at the MOST (and I'm being generous) and the guy on my team is about 6'5". Third mistake, tall guy is African. Short guy is not. Little did he know, he'd already lost. But for the sake of the story, I'll continue.
So this short guy, who I'm guarding by the way, gets switched on the tall guy. And then decided that tall guy played him too roughly, and says something slick. I mean, we ARE on the street, you should expect a bit of roughness. Hell, I have a cut next to my eyebrow that I only noticed 3 hours later when I got home. But whatever.
Short guy is running his mouth and tall guy is getting annoyed, and I'm sensing danger. So now, game over, we won, short guy and his band of misfits lost and they are heading to the side. As all of this is happening, short guy is talking smack to tall guy, who's had enough.
He calmly walks over to short guy and says "Listen, I'm sick of your sh*t. Either shut the f*ck up or do something about my so-called 'rough' play. I don't talk, I act, so if you don't want problems, stop talking." End of threat. The way he said that sh*t put the fear of God in ME, and I was not involved. And he turns and starts to leave. I would not be telling this story if it ended here. And boy did it not end.
Short guys jumps up from where he's seated and gets all up in tall guy's face. OK, he 'tries' to get up in tall guy's face seeing that he's nearly an entire foot shorter. He's practically on his toes, for those of you trying to picture the scene. He starts yapping and waving his hands dangerously close to tall guy's face.
Uh oh.
BOOM!
Gyaddayum!! He got hit with the headbutt from the Heavens. One he, or any of us for that matter, never saw coming. He stumbled back, and looked up dazed at tall guy. His eyes got big, and it looked as if it was only then that it dawned upon him. Tall guy was a motherf*cking African.
Well, from that point on, he saw that tall guy was not f*cking around when he said that he acted and skipped all of the long talk. We all saw. Well, atleast I did. In the end it all ended well, since short guy left the court with his confidence and manhood shattered on the floor from the headbutt he got, and tall guy continued playing til' after I left the court. And since I haven't heard anything else, I guess that was the end of that story. Well in that case, it is also the end of mine.
Moral of the story? Read the title stupid.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
'Tard Fight!!!
Ah, here we are once again.
These past days have not been very exciting, to say the least. I am STILL on 'vacation', believe it or not. And to think that the French have been called cowards, chickens, p*ssies, whatever words you may use for weak people. But one thing these guys don't do is quit. Which, in itself, is not a bad thing. But there is a time to persevere, and there is a time to quit. Now is that time to quit guys. Just sayin'.
Anyhow. In my boredom I have a tendancy to surf the net. Well, ok. Not only during boredom. I also surf when I have tons of schoolwork to do. But it's me we're talking about. So surfing comes before schoolwork. Now that that's clear, moving right along.
So I woke up this morning, did the usual stuff, and then hopped on my pc. And surfed. And lo and behold. I fell upon the greatest thing since, I don't know, sneakers.
'Tard Fights.
*Anouncer voice* In the blue corner, weighing in at 177lbs, and 5'9"! He claims to have never lost a street fight in his life! Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, in his first ever professional fight, I present to you...from Sheeeeellbyyyy, North Carolinaaaaaaaaaaaaa...Briiaaaaaannnn Sutherlaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd!
*Anouncer voice* And in the blue corner, weighing in at 225lbs, standing 5'11"! Creator of what he claims to be "Illusive Fighting"! Ladies and gentlemen...Theeeee Shadoooooooowwwwww!
And the "winner", ladies and gentlemen...YOU!!! For having witnessed the greatest fighters in the history of this beautiful sport!
*Sidenote* Brian Sutherland never fought again after his first professional fight. We can all see why.
This, on this beautiful day, April 11th, 2009, is my gift to the world.
I'm out.
These past days have not been very exciting, to say the least. I am STILL on 'vacation', believe it or not. And to think that the French have been called cowards, chickens, p*ssies, whatever words you may use for weak people. But one thing these guys don't do is quit. Which, in itself, is not a bad thing. But there is a time to persevere, and there is a time to quit. Now is that time to quit guys. Just sayin'.
Anyhow. In my boredom I have a tendancy to surf the net. Well, ok. Not only during boredom. I also surf when I have tons of schoolwork to do. But it's me we're talking about. So surfing comes before schoolwork. Now that that's clear, moving right along.
So I woke up this morning, did the usual stuff, and then hopped on my pc. And surfed. And lo and behold. I fell upon the greatest thing since, I don't know, sneakers.
'Tard Fights.
*Anouncer voice* In the blue corner, weighing in at 177lbs, and 5'9"! He claims to have never lost a street fight in his life! Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, in his first ever professional fight, I present to you...from Sheeeeellbyyyy, North Carolinaaaaaaaaaaaaa...Briiaaaaaannnn Sutherlaaaaaaaaaannnnnddddd!
*Anouncer voice* And in the blue corner, weighing in at 225lbs, standing 5'11"! Creator of what he claims to be "Illusive Fighting"! Ladies and gentlemen...Theeeee Shadoooooooowwwwww!
And the "winner", ladies and gentlemen...YOU!!! For having witnessed the greatest fighters in the history of this beautiful sport!
*Sidenote* Brian Sutherland never fought again after his first professional fight. We can all see why.
This, on this beautiful day, April 11th, 2009, is my gift to the world.
I'm out.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Good job!
From: BestYet
Sent: Wed 2/18/09 8:02 AM
To: Esco
Sent: Wed 2/18/09 8:02 AM
To: Esco
I here on the train and the chick "in beeld" got one dreadful cross- eye going on. Dude, moments b4 I snapped this, she was on the phone with her face pointed in my direction. One eye was on the black bag on the lap of the person sitting across from her, and the other out the window infront of me.
So basically I was her focus point, but I don't think she saw me once during that call. However, judging her position in the pic below, she was probably looking directly at me. Now, I'm not the type to make fun of others, but if we are in that business I think we owe it to one another to truly bring the joke over.
How do we do so? You a smart guy and obviously know I mean putting faces to the jokes.
Names may come later. Let's just say this is Annelies, 24, scorpio.
P.S. I know this ain't on the level of laughing at blind women out loud, but work with me.
And then came this:
Dunno what she's looking at
This is wrong on SO many levels, but with all the wrong in the world, this makes all of it a little more bearable.
I'm out.
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